In our current society, there is a lot of importance placed on ‘experts’ and getting things ‘right’. I can never tell if we have intentionally placed importance on this because we need this idea of getting things right, or ‘experts’ (you know, the people that without a doubt know THE only way to do something, scientifically proven etc etc) to help us feel confident that there is a 'right way' to do something or because we are afraid to be in the space of unknowing/uncertainty of ourselves.
As a woman, and, in a previous life, a scientist, I have come to know the value placed on knowledge and the need to back myself with the scientific evidence to prove my ideas. I thrive on facts and knowledge, usually knowledge of other people’s ideas. But what if innately we all have the knowledge of ourselves and our bodies that we don’t tap into because its not ‘scientifically proven’ or ‘evidence based’ or we just don’t trust that our innate knowledge is worthy of valuing? What happens when the facts and knowledge no longer serve our purpose and help us figure things out and get things 'exactly right'? Sounds scary huh?
This is a time of great confusion and tapping into the space of ‘unknowing’.
When babies are born, so too are mothers. It may be your first baby or your sixth, it really doesn’t matter. However you were before, is really no longer. I mean, you are still you, but you are now a mother, this YOU has just been born. This is a new version of you that you’ve never met before. This is a new version of you that supersedes all other versions of you. Its a beautiful, beautiful confusing time that requires tuning in to yourself and trusting your innate knowledge that there are no absolutes, no experts on your baby and your style of parenting, there are no ‘getting things right’, parenting is an ever evolving journey.
I truly believe that all mothers, given the space, support and encouragement to do so, really truly know how to nurture their babies the way they need to be nurtured. That if they are supported in this space of uncertainty and encouraged to try different things that feel right to them, a mother can flourish and ignore the outside advice of ‘experts’. She can be confident that she knows what to do, that even if she tries something and it doesn’t work, that she will continue to come up with strategies and ideas that fit with her own unique style of parenting. What if I told you that a service exists purely to support and encourage you through this space of uncertainty and unknowing, a support that is really a holding of space rather than another expert offering opinions. Would you reach out and grasp it?
It is so so easy to look outside ourselves for knowledge and advice when we are so used to doing that. But let me tell you, YOU ARE THE EXPERT OF YOUR OWN BABY! No-one, no-one, has ever had your baby, with its beautiful unique personality, its likes and dislikes. No-one, has ever been you. You’ve got this. Its ok to not know. Its ok to be uncertain, and its ok to trust that your baby trusts in YOU, his/her mummy and first nurturer. With the right nurturing support, you can absolutely flourish as a confident mother of your baby, your children. Your baby believes in you. It is time for you to believe in you, and learn to be comfortable in that space of unknowing, for a mother needs that space to fully come into her own mothering style, to be who she needs to be for her baby, and herself.
If you want to be supported and guided during this incredible transition and transformation and through this space of uncertainty, I encourage you to come along to my free workshop for expectant couples where you will identify ways to reduce feeling overwhelmed and anxious during this space of unknowing. Click here to register .
I look forward to meeting you and seeing where this beautiful parenting journey takes you